Ridin' the rails of the crazy train

I was in my apartment, yet it was full of immigrants and a steam locomotive crashed into the apartment. The train Crashed into my third floor apartment and crushed all the immigrants. I was so horrified that i ran to the balcony and puked over the edge and then ran to my neighbors to tell them a train was in my apartment. We called police and paramedics but pretty much everyone had been killed. The police kept asking my why i had immigrants packed into my apartment. Was it like a "shift" house..where one shift sleeps while the other goes to work and then they switch...

No, i was mortified that they would even ask such a thing.

No Country for Weeping Men

I was with someone who had been vexing me for some time. I desperately wanted to be with this person but he confused me. Yes? no? maybe?

Finally, we came together for an intense and amazing evening of passion and in the morning he offered to drive me home. When i got into his car i was stunned to see the entire dashboard covered in yellow pieces of paper with the diagrams of the dials hand drawn in oversize letters.
"What the hell is this?" i asked. "I'm legally blind so this is how i see the dashboard". Oddly enough that answer didn't bother me. Ok, so off we go but then the cops pull us over and force him to pop the trunk. Inside is approximately 100k worth of weed and the cops start taking the bags out. "OH FUCK", what the hell have i gotten myself into?? The cop pulls my man out of the car and is screaming at him about talking to much. What? The cop is in on it? My guy gets back into the car bawling like a child and i ask him "are you a dealer", his reply "yeah i am." oh, ok. and off we go...