goat to get you out of my pipe

i dreamt last night that i was cleaning out an elderly womans toilet in her hospital room.
it wasn't my job, i just felt badly for her.
there was blood and shit and worms and a goat head in the toilet bowl.
i kept flushing and flushing to make it all go down
and repeatedly commented on how sore her asshole must be.

Ridin' the rails of the crazy train

I was in my apartment, yet it was full of immigrants and a steam locomotive crashed into the apartment. The train Crashed into my third floor apartment and crushed all the immigrants. I was so horrified that i ran to the balcony and puked over the edge and then ran to my neighbors to tell them a train was in my apartment. We called police and paramedics but pretty much everyone had been killed. The police kept asking my why i had immigrants packed into my apartment. Was it like a "shift" house..where one shift sleeps while the other goes to work and then they switch...

No, i was mortified that they would even ask such a thing.

No Country for Weeping Men

I was with someone who had been vexing me for some time. I desperately wanted to be with this person but he confused me. Yes? no? maybe?

Finally, we came together for an intense and amazing evening of passion and in the morning he offered to drive me home. When i got into his car i was stunned to see the entire dashboard covered in yellow pieces of paper with the diagrams of the dials hand drawn in oversize letters.
"What the hell is this?" i asked. "I'm legally blind so this is how i see the dashboard". Oddly enough that answer didn't bother me. Ok, so off we go but then the cops pull us over and force him to pop the trunk. Inside is approximately 100k worth of weed and the cops start taking the bags out. "OH FUCK", what the hell have i gotten myself into?? The cop pulls my man out of the car and is screaming at him about talking to much. What? The cop is in on it? My guy gets back into the car bawling like a child and i ask him "are you a dealer", his reply "yeah i am." oh, ok. and off we go...

Advil PM- Psychedelic drug?

I took two advil pm the other night and for three straight evenings i have had the goofiest dreams i can recall.

I dreamt that I was dating Harrison Ford (i wish!) and we were really making the scene but no one could see him but me. He was there, i knew he was there yet, not a soul could see him.

I'll have to try that. "Yeah mom, Har and i have been together for about 2 months now...what do you mean you want to meet him, he's been here the entire time!"

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Dream number two was me going to a wedding reception in a lavish mansion, decorated in flowers, white linens, crystals, just the poshest looking scene you can imagine
but in a room off the side there was a colonoscopy occurring. I went in to see and i discovered Elton John lying on his side, potbelly all pooched out with a hose in his rump so i pulled up a chair and watched Elton John get a colonoscopy.
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I took my dog Lucy to Petsmart for vet care and grooming.
When i picked her up i was informed that although she was a very normal looking Pug, she was actually one chromosome from being a completely retarded dog. The woman then took Lucy from her cage and proceeded to breast feed my dog.

Needless to say, i and other patrons were quite shocked but the woman assured us the dog loves breast milk.

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last night i dreamt of being at my grandmothers house, sitting at her dining room table.
I became aware of a problem on the floor and i looked down to see her cats' head fall off.
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I think i may switch to LSD-PM and see what happens.

i know what you did

I knew something was up. I hopped on my scooter chair (not that i really use one!) and hightailed it to his apartment. As i arrived, i saw her. She was parking her car, her young son seated up front. I was in a fury. I pounded on the door, rang the bell and insisted on being let in. She walked up to me, brazen and cocky and entered before me. I followed her up the stairs, past his door to the top floor where she turned and walked back down. Just go in, i know where you're headed. She refused to enter the apartment. He opened the door, i stormed in and began throwing lamps and smashing furniture. Are you sleeping with her? I raged and raged knowing what the answer would be. Yes he said. A few times but yes. ("And i'm pregnant" i heard bellowed from the hallway.) I raged anew. How could you do this to me? Why? I should have expected it yet i didn't. He brushed me off. Her husband is abusive. I need to help her and the boy get to safety. I don't know when or if i'll be back.

I ran outside and confronted her. We exchanged words. She made fun of me and my scooter chair. I tried to defend myself but how could i? I was riding a damn scooter chair. I returned to the apartment but he had already grabbed a bag of clothes, some bedding and went downstairs, got into her car and never looked back.

He was truly gone.

Brokeback Trucking

i don't know where this came from ...(Heath's recent demise perhaps?)
but i dreamt that i was at an Oasis and all the truckers were gay.

The Haunted

a young boy, in a house dusty, creaky and abandoned finds a spot in the floor that seems to be glimmering, alive with some sort of energy. He leans forward to look closer and fell head first into another time. But he's still in the same house, same room, dusty, creaky and abandoned but this time he's not alone. Spirits swirl around him, touching him and whispering to him but what are they saying? I can't hear, i don't know.

I wake up, it was only a dream.